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 From the Vice-President
Antagonists as a Spiritual Lesson
Most of us with any experience as a leader, whether in the business world or even a club or a Grove, have run across the occasional antagonist. An antagonist is the one who seems to be looking around for trouble. The one who is eager to get to know everyone and keeps track of potential wrongdoings for later use. They are the first ones to raise the flag of wrong when they see a potential issue or problem they can jump on. He or she is quick to try to rally support around himself or herself, against a person or group. Not everyone who does so is an antagonist, but there do exist people who are. While most times I have felt only dread in dealing with them, lately I have begun to open up to the lessons they have to offer me about my own spirituality.
One of the unique things about Neopaganism is that it is not a mainstream religion. Therefore most people are not raised in it, but rather come to it later on. One of the common reasons is dissatisfaction with the religion they came from. If a person is not careful, they can carry over this resentment and try to find a new person to wear the same blame. It is easy to keep on looking for the same things you found unsatisfactory before, and to try to find them again. Since group dynamics are what they are, they are bound to be repeated in some form in most groups. If we don’t come to terms with these dissatisfactions, we may be just setting ourselves up for repetition.
A common dissatisfaction is the separation of a congregation and clergy. In a Grove, there is a Grove Leader/s that generally takes care of leading ritual and teaching. There is a delicate balance between being a leader and also being a human. This can take a long time to develop. It is important to play both roles as necessary, as long as you are not compromising either in your actions. At times you may make mistakes, so you have to remember that you are human. But you also have to remember that you are a leader, and therefore you may need to rectify things properly to keep respect.
Newcomers to Keltria are often in a position of being dependent on a Grove Leader (or the Henge Office in the case of a Solitary) for information and contact concerning our path. As we shed our old ideas about church leadership, it may be easy to assume that the leader knows more, and that we are separated by this wisdom. How easy it is to feel like information is being withheld or that there is a great distance from congregation to clergy. So as leaders it is often up to us to direct people to the information they need to learn all they can. We can’t do this work for anyone, it is up to the individual how much and how quickly they will learn. It is also up to the individual to ask questions, do the homework and seek out information. I have learned that some people come to expect information as a right, and not a mutual privilege, given by the mutual choice of both the person and myself. It is true that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Remember that the teacher may not come in the traditional expected form. Be watchful and always ready to learn.
If we start to feel discouraged, it is important to say so and try to rectify things through the proper channels. Just as it is poor politics at work to take a complaint straight to public notice, it is poor politics to do so in a Grove (or within Keltria). If you are having trouble with an individual, speak to them in private and try to resolve it. Remember that there are at least three sides to every story, and be willing to accept that you may have misinterpreted things. I have learned that often people react so quickly and so publicly because they are on a mission, one that started somewhere else. These people are not willing to take the time necessary to fully examine the situation from many angles before acting. They are also not willing to use the proper channels. They seem to be instead ready to jump to the forefront with a message for reform (all warning flags of an antagonist). As leaders, it is important to keep an eye on things and be careful how we express ourselves. Having a clear set of bylaws in place helps. We can use them when problems arise. We can also expect others to use the channels set up in the Bylaws as the best way to resolve issues. Good communication among leaders can also help to ease individual Grove problems. Sharing experience can be a valuable lesson to all.
In Keltrian Ritual, while there are two leaders, we all experience the same thing. It is uncomfortable in a ritual when one feels like they will say the wrong thing, bump into someone accidentally or otherwise make a blunder at their first ritual. As leaders, it helps us to be aware of just how uncomfortable one can feel. The role of the leaders is to keep the ritual moving and to guide those who are new to it, so they feel comfortable. A main part of this may come from explanations and asking questions. It is up to the participant to ask questions when they arise, so that they can be answered. It is also up to the Grove Leader to ensure that there is an opportunity for questions and to see that they are fully answered (either on the spot or later if one needs to look up some information). Good communication is critical to keeping things on an even level.
As more Groves develop, and technology brings new ways of communicating, it becomes even more important to keep in mind that we can avoid or minimize antagonists. We all need to be aware and vigilant. Even if it means giving someone a “time-out” to collect their thoughts and review their actions. Some critical feedback can be tremendously helpful. It is more likely to be taken to heart when it is delivered through the proper channels. Keep in mind that triads mean that there are three sides. Seek to understand them all and see if that changes your views. Also remember to keep in mind that others may be at a different place spiritually. Tolerance, patience and communication can bridge many gaps.
Walk with Wisdom,
Baisteadh
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